5/19/2010: Day Before I leave

Its 9:15am and given that I have not yet packed, have not bought everything I need for my trip, or said my goodbyes to my family and friends; I figure this is about the only time I'll be able to start this before I leave for the airport tomorrow afternoon. I suppose this will be my time for reflection. My time to declare to the world what a liberal westerner like myself will do in Amman for about 5 1/2 weeks. Though I'm technically studying Arabic, there's got to be something else that makes a person like me go to the Middle East.

A conversation my boyfriend and I had recently highlights this unique desire.

Boyfriend: You're weird.
Me: No I'm not.
Boyfriend: Yes you are.
Me: No I'm not.
Boyfriend: I'm not playing.
Me: How I am weird??
Boyfriend:...well honey, you're a white American woman, hippi-environmentalist whose interested in the Middle East. That's weird.

At first thought, yeah...that's a bit unusual. When looking at other students who I know have the same regional interest, they are more concentrated in security studies or gender equality or human rights. Not to offend or 'bash' any of those concentrations but its true what my boyfriend said. When westerners think Middle East, they don't think, "oh save the whales and hug the olive trees."

It is a great misfortune what we immediately think: burka or al-Queda. Overwhelming, the first question I am asked when I announce my travel plans to Amman is, "Do you have to wear a burka over there?"

Perhaps I should not be judgmental and I really shouldn't let it bother me. And to be fair to my American comrades out there, not everyone has made that assumption and many know that Jordan, especially its capital Amman, is fairly progressive and is truly an oasis of peace and stability in the region (considering its smack in between Israel/Palestine, Saudi Arabia, Syria-Lebanon, and Iraq). But I digress, what causes a hippi-environmentalist-liberal American woman like myself to be so enamored with the Middle East?

Well, my love affair with the Middle East began long before the inner acceptance of my hippi-liberal self. It also began in a great twist of irony. I first meet the Middle East on September 11, 2001. I was 11, he was a couple 1,000 years old...

I'll move away from the dating analogy and just speak the plain truth. I had never heard of the Middle East, Islam, or terrorism before September 11th. In my 11 year old head, war was a distant concept tucked away in my American History book. Those three words; Middle East, Islam, Terrorism; were played over and over again on the TV in a twisted melody of news reports. How easy it was for me make the connection between the terms. Middle East=Islam=Terrorism.

But two instances led me away from this thinking. To these people, I owe my world. I was an avid journal writer. An introspective child my pre-pubescent feelings were jotted down furiously in a series of journals. My first entry following September 11th was filled with hate. Hate for the terrorists. Hate for the Islam. Hate for the Middle East. I read this entry to my father. But he would not accept the words I wrote. I remember hazily, "Kelsey, hate is not the answer. These people who committed these attacks...they're not in their right mind. They don't know what they're doing."

It proved to be one of most important things my father has ever said to me. Looking back, it is the message the my father and my mother have instilled in me. Hate is not the answer.

My second experience following September 11th was in school. There were two history teachers for my middle school: Mr. H and Mrs. F. Mr. H put aside months and months of following the news instead of teaching history. Mrs. F took one day aside and taught about the history of the Middle East and of Islam.

Thank God I was in Mrs. F's class. She sparked my interest in history, culture, and religion; and taught me a very important lesson. There is a deeper root to violence. Fighting fire with fire will only make the flames grow higher.

Around this time I declared I was going to learn Arabic and have kept this goal since I was 11. As I grew up, I read everything I could about the Middle East. I learned more about its history, its role in world politics, how my country relates to it, and the main challenges the region faces today. My growing awareness of the world coupled with my fondness for nature (my mother would wrestle me inside on summer days) led me to understand global environmental challenges: resource consumption, pollution, global warming...and BAM! It was clear to me. I know what I want to do. I know my purpose on this plant.

Sustainable development in the Middle East and Africa.

What the...sustainable development in the Middle East?? Africa is another long story, but the Middle East?!?! What about terrorism? What about women's rights? What about social justice?!

All of these issues are very important but lets look a little deeper. What export is the Middle East infamous for? The source of wealth for many a corrupt regime? And lastly, what will happen when this resource runs dry?

What will happen to the Middle East when it is unable to profit from oil extraction?

Who will suffer first?

Women.

What will likely increase?

Terrorism.

What will deteriorate?

Existing, but weak, social justice mechanisms.

Money makes the world go around. (Cabaret, anyone?) The only thing that is keeping the Middle East from imploding is its connection to the global market. Globalizing trends strengthen the economy, strengthen existing regimes, and help keep a fragile, but existing peace between states. But there are several problems here. Oil production in the Middle East (and elsewhere around the world)supports our wasteful habits thus contributing to pollution and global warming. If the West were to dramatically reduce or eliminate its reliance on foreign oil, what will happen to the global petroleum market and the states which rely heavily on oil production?

I am, by no means, justifying the West's wasteful and environmental dangerous habits. I am actually disgusted by the system we(and by we and mean U.S.)has created. For these reasons, change cannot just happen on our end. We in the West cannot alone change our habits and expect the rest of world to be o.k. In this respect, globalization is a double-end sword: many will benefit and those same can lose.

For me, sustainable development in the Middle East is not only about the region's role in global environmental degradation but also local problems that define regional politics. Like olive trees or access to water.

The growth of Jewish settlements in Palestine destroys fields of olive tree; a source of income for many a Palestinian. Access to water between Israel-Palestine-Jordan is a major issue, especially along the shores of the Jordanian River. The continued destruction of these resources will effect local populations in inexplicable ways.

Know Wangari Mathia? Kenyan woman who changed her community and country by merely planting trees? Maybe I'll plant a few olive trees on my trip.

This is my love story with the Middle East and what I envision my future to be. But love just won't work unless we're able to communicate. So, I'm living in Amman for a month and taking classes in Arabic to learn how to communicate, both linguistically and culturally.

Wish me luck!