Back in States, 1/2 a World Away

My month in Amman has ended. I've gone through days of picture showing, story re-telling, and the ultimate question, "So how was it? Did you have a good time?"

Yes, I had an incredible time.

But how can I answer that question? How can I pay justice to my time in Amman with just some banal, commonly used phrase to sum up all my experiences? Within my short time in Amman, I had a life. There were times I felt my head was going to explore, where I felt I had been slapped in the face and then there were times I wanted to dance in the streets, where I just wanted to laugh uncontrollably, or give a hug to the old man who sat in a chair on my street every morning and smiled. Inevitably, most of my time fell somewhere between those extremes; in the everyday commonness that our lives are submerged. It is this commonness that separated my time in Amman from the time as a tourist in Amman. I can continue my life and say that I have lived in Amman.

Any lessons? Any deep reflections on what I've learned? Words of advice?

I went into Amman purposely without expectations. Partly because I had I know idea what to expect and partly because I didn't want to compare my experience to a preconceived notion of what my experience would be. I've waited a few days after my return to write this blog for a reason: I wanted my experience to really sink in. I wanted to wait for culture shock. Wait for a resonating piece of inspiration that could led me to write some brilliantly clever blog entry.

But nothing quite like that came. When I reflected upon my time in Jordan, my thoughts first turned to the people I met and I was flushed with overwhelming sadness; will I ever see them again? Will my promise of return be fulfilled?

But was I only sad? Certainly not. I felt my mind and heart expand. I had acquired a new level of understanding, a heighten awareness and appreciation of man's capacity. And with this, I was at peace. I had a taste of what I greatly desired and, though currently satisfied, a suspect that my desire to return to Jordan and extend my stay will grow stronger and stronger.

I have always suspected that the world was small but now I believe I have proof for that thesis. And with a world so small, I find it harder to justify what terrible things plague this planet. I cannot commit war against my brother. My brother who's features are different from mine and who may speak a foreign tongue but nonetheless he is my brother; simply because he is human. One thing I confirmed and I know for truth: people are people where ever you go. Our differences are so discrete but when you look to our similarities...

I feel like this is the secret to life.

This is what I left with from Jordan...along with two large bags of spice that looked like weed and a small Arabian dagger piled with other gifts in my checked suitcase. When going through airport security, I was curious about what sort of explanation I could come up with if I ran into trouble. In my sleepy stupor I doubt anything but the truth was going to fly. (ha, no pun intended!)

The days leading up to my departure passed quickly and I think that having final exams on out last day in the country contributed to it. I tried to fit as much in as as I could but I wasn't able to do everything I wanted. Earlier in the week, I met with my language partner for the last time. She took me throughout the city and bought me (of course) all the food that I hadn't tried yet. Egg-cheese-spice sandwiches, kanafa (a very heavy, cheesy dessert...one time kind of thing), fresh nuts from a stand, and two types of juices. We ended our evening smoking hooka and watching the U.S-Algeria game. As the only American in the room supporting the US, it was such an incredible game. I had the brightest smile in the world on my face when the US scored its goal and while most people gave me contemptuous side glances, but a noticed an older waiter chuckling at me. Pass the hooka please.

Parting with my Jordanian family was perhaps my least favorable part of the week. I am still in awe of how perfect the family was for me and how good they are. I wish very much to keep in touch with them and see them again.

So did the liberal-hippi-environmentalist find herself welcomed in Jordan? Find what political or social answers to life she was looking for?

No, I have to go back for more. This isn't the conclusion to the American in Amman, just part one.